Moral Fiber

Knowing the truth and not only having what it takes to tell it, but having what it takes to explain it.

A Day Late...

Will it be, when I die, no matter how it comes...
just another lonely day without you.
When time becomes just another word
and silence is all that is heard...
will I be able to think about who I was
for all those years and what I did
to cause all your tears.

No more stars at night.
No morning light.
Fade to black?
Fade to white?
I was a bum... before.
Am I cold ?
I'm not old anymore!

Where is your hand, your lips... touch mine?
Do I have to go all by myself... it's best?
I wish I was with you just one more time.
I don't like the idea of being laid to rest.

All those times you were alone.
It's you? Please ring the phone.
One last breath, True Until Death,
For you only, I'll keep it in reserve.

I know... I'm getting what I deserve.

If The Shoe Fits

Don't waste your time thinking about women who hang out in bars drinking.

You'll never reach a point where you can call her your friend,
even when she tells you she loves you, always will, till the end.
Soon there will be days when you wonder why she won't hold you
or tell you she loves you like she promised when she took your hand.
She'll twist things around making it seem like it's always your fault
then she'll insult you by telling you you're the one she can't stand.

Then one day you'll be convinced she doesn't care
after you've been reduced to all that you can bear.
She'll make it seem like it was all up to you...
to give her what she wants, what's owed to her and by you.
All the time you gave... all your love... out the window!
You failed her, she should stay and you be the one to go.

You beg her to take you back, to give it some time
after she headed out the door...
But she's going out... having a few with "friends"again,
and just like she did before.
She brags how you failed her to everyone she knows...
she's right and without guilt, everywhere she goes.

You know in your heart how much she really loves you,
but because she's so thick... she'll try every trick.
It doesn't matter how good they look or what you're thinking...
just steer clear of women who hang out in bars... drinking.

You're Still Mine

I've thought what love is.
I thought I've loved.
There were times that I wished I hadn't and times I wished I had.
All of those times never amounted to what I know now.
I never felt such a love as the love I have for you.

Though pain we've shared...
you still returned.
Sometimes so bad, yet your desire for me
within you it always burned.

You still have my soul,
forever, you and me.
Of love and above,
I belong to you.

Through all my years, no one can... what you do,
and how you bring it to me.
We shared our first beads of sweat,
loves taste... I will never forget.

How many times we've ridden the waves.
It doesn't matter how the ocean behaves.
There's a shore and all it's sand.
We will love there, hand and hand.

Happy Birthday Josie

I remember the day I actually out ran you, your words and how you were, "...going to fix my wagon."
It was dark by the time I got enough guts to return. You didn't fix my wagon. You just stood there on the stoop and said, "You hungry?"
Between gulps I looked up at you... sitting there... watching me consume a bowl of macaroni. "Some day, you little bastid, you're gonna have your own kids."
Mom... about that wagon, "Happy Birthday." I love you and I'm missing you.

Once Upon A "Sally Show" (an e-mail to Kit Carson)

Quick story... maybe not so quick.
Van Johnson, Ginger Rogers and Jane Russell are on the show. I have Van waiting just off the set to go on and Jane is sitting on the steps putting lipstick on for the second time in 5 minutes. First segment ends and of course I have to be the one who has to go out and wipe the drool from Gingers chin and the fucking producer or Sally... who ever... decides to keep the old gal and her wheel chair out there for an extra segment. Drool gets blotted, I duck back behind the set and the saga continues.
Back to Van and to tell him he'll be on in the next segment. Jane is now on her third attempt to smear an extra coating and Heightman comes on head sets and tells me to get a mic check from Van. I go over and make the request and he goes, "This is Van Johnson giving Rocky a mic check, one, two, three, four." Then he, the tall dude, bends down and kisses me on the fore head. Heightman hears this and says,"Is that what I just heard... what he did?" "Yes it was!", I said. "Rocky! Please don't get upset... it's OK! It's OK!!! That's Hollywood Shtick!!!!" Heightman must have thought I was possibly having a major homophobic meltdown! I covered my headset mic and said "No big deal! Who fucking cares! Van Johnson just kissed me... (whispering) I think it's pretty cool. Don't you?" I said that just to fuck with Guy's head. Anyway.
Segment ends and I push him out... Rogers over, and just in time to blot the next run of drool. Segment begins and I get back to Russel who by now has made a mess of herself with her fucking obsessive lipstick "freshenings". If I had let her go on like that and you took one look at her... oh fuck it! forget any closeups. I grab a box of Sally's tissues(Kleenex... wtf) and go over to Jane and literally order her to blot. She looked at me and said, (truth) "Why... too much for TV?" A moment lapsed... "YES... too much... here...blot!! And give me those! You won't need them anymore. You're up next." I took her lipstick and her pocket mirror and all the tissues just in time to push her out for what ever the fuck the next segment was.
Lord rest all their souls.
You know. I should have kept all Jane's stuff including the blots... they actually looked like her lip prints. Ebay? For Ginger Rogers drool. Who'd believe me.

It's about Her

It's ok to be where I'm at,
but I do feel like something...
... is missing.

I know all to well what it is.
It's a "her"... there isn't one.
I had one but this "her"...
... isn't here now.

Oh she's there alright...
She's out there... way out.
I'm not about to get her
no matter how I try.

"Her" heart is out to break
the only one I've got.
Mine it pumps... how it beats.
says she cares and then deletes.

It's ok to be where I'm at.
I'll sit here and I'll recall
just what she said,
"I Love you" and how!
Now go take the fall.